At any given time there are a dozen random thoughts circling in my mind. They used to be creative, fanciful, daydream spun thoughts. But most often now my thoughts are centered almost exclusively on what I'm doing, what I need to be doing/should be doing, must get done, will get done tomorrow, what I can schedule for next week, blah, blah, blah! An endless repetoire of chores dances through my mind - or rather marches militantly through my mind like little fiendish Nazis. Single minded in purpose and pursuit, this process leaves me with unabated anxiety. On the rare occasion that I purposefully turn my mind away from the endless list of that which needs to be done, my family jumps in and steers back to the god forsaken shore of - "what you need to do to help ME". Through this analysis I've realized that I have a harder time saying no than I should.. and furthermore feel I have to justify my rejection of proposed work shoveled in my direction. You'd think my house would be cleaner with this kind of weird and intense Protestant work ethic!
So how did I get on the kick of communication? Thinking of all the useless babble being blasted into cyberspace, the meaningless play by play tweets by twits, the updates on everything from dinner to underwear - this seems a sort of madness more than a flow of communication. Yet I post regularly on Facebook about whatever tickles my fancy - or more likely - pisses me off. The worldwide web has apparently opened the borders for instant gratification and endless validation, no matter how ridiculous your perspective/fetish/daily life, you can find a few hundred on the planet who are into what you're into.. On the surface that should be a good thing, and maybe this social experiment of human life will show just that. But I'm sardonically and alarmingly inclined to view this mass validation as a dangerous phenomenom.. the very thing that drew me to the web, had me posting daily and voraciously on a bulletin board with strangers around the world, built my self-efficacy - that connectedness may be the most volatile intangible imaginable. I've written two paragraphs and managed to communicate what exactly?? I think we're losing an insidious war.
So in light of these thoughts it seems strange and wonderously counterindicative, but I think I need to communicate more. I feel rusty and obsolete.
